Political Fashion Season Advice

National Politics

Gingrich 2012New Orleans I actually went to a July 4th picnic yesterday, so although we don’t make a big thing about them in the South since they are not an excuse to celebrate warmer temperatures or things of that nature, at least it qualifies me now, as much as others, to give out fashion advice for the coming political season to all of the candidates.

First, what’s with the khakis, Republican guys?  Just because Romney’s pair were darker brown than Huntsman’s and Huntsman’s were not the super tan for Gingrich, doesn’t mean that you are not clearly wearing trousers and that those trousers are khakis.  When it gets down to it, khakis are really for parochial school and workman uniforms.  On the 4th of July, guys, we celebrate independence, and for real Americans that means wearing jeans for cryeye!  Or, even shorts, ok?  How in the world do you fellas ever think you are going to be elected to anything in khakis.

Secondly, Obama thanks for understanding it is important to wear jeans to connect to the American people, but what is with this golf thing.  The American people had better not see you wearing saddle shoes and a lot of little animals on the heart pocket of your shirts, Mr. President, or there will no longer be any questions about whether or not you have moved to the middle.  It will be clear that you are thinking about switching parties and going full-bore Republican.

Thirdly, either give Michelle Bachmann a break and let her get out of high heels like she was wearing in Clear Lake, Iowa yesterday or tell the American people how short she really is or why is she pretending to be taller?  What’s with that – we love short people, but people who are not OK with their own height should not have their finger near the button, if you know what I mean?  No one should be forced or allowed to wear heels in a parade, unless this was some kind of bar stunt for free beer or something that the American people would understand.  Bachmann needs to stop sitting around and pretending a presidential run is some kind of tea party, and let us know her real plan for this short thing.

Finally, I would like to say something about the plaids, stripes, and madras shirts worn by the top Republicans at the 4th picnics, but my eyes are not what they used to be and I was forced to avert my glance quickly for my own protection.

Enough said.  I’ll have more on this when needed.